It’s been about a week since I last posted to the blog. And I really feel bad for not staying on top of it. I was to use this blog as a way to journal my thoughts and feelings. And I plan on still doing it for that purpose. I need to realize that it’s ok to miss a few days and not beat myself up over not doing it.
I ended up getting really bad allergies after the endoscopy. Just enough to cause me to end up at the Doctor’s office for a prescription of cough syrup and antibiotics. It’s just amazing to me that I have been to her office more in the last six months than I have in six years. I finally realized that my grief has taken a huge toll on my body and my immune system. The stress over all the legal issues, and the loneliness factor has really caused me to become so susceptible to all sorts of things. And that is really depressing for me. I hate being sick. And I hate being sick and not have Corey here to help me out. That was a hard adjustment for me to make. The first time I got really sick was in September when I ended up with bronchitis it was hard for me to deal without him. When I was sick he was always fixing me chicken broth and getting me things that I needed. Instead I was at home, not being able to breathe and crying. Not a good combination.
I know that I will survive without him, but it just really hurts my heart to have him gone. He really was my soul mate, my hero, my prince. I know that he knew how much I loved and adored him, and I hope that he still “hears” me when I tell him every day how much I love him and miss him. We all miss him.
This week was my first foray into learning how to play the Handbells at Church. I needed to find something and I felt that getting back into music might help lift my sadness. Now I have not played my flute in over 20 yrs. So I was somewhat doubtful about having to read music again. But luckily, they “color code’ the music to show you which ones you are to play. I had a wonderful time and think that this is my contribution to Stewardship to the Church. Our first performance is right now, scheduled for Feb 13th at the 5 pm Mass. That is tentative at this time, but I can’t wait.
As well, my other contribution to the Church is to be a Lector. I am ready to do that, however I am not yet on the schedule. From what I understand there are a lot of lectors so I might only be able to read a few times. I do plan on taking any sub requests, but I think that I will enjoy this too. I might look in to becoming a Euchristic Minister too. Anything to serve my Church. Give back to them for giving to me all the love and welcome that I have received.
Tomorrow, Mom and I will be painting the third bedroom and turning it into my craft room. I chose Glidden paint in the shade of “Frosted Pine”. A rather soothing shade of green. Once painted, the chair I bought will be moved in and we will move the TV from the office into there as well. This will be my haven to knit, watch TV and not sit in bed all the time. That is not good for me or the bed!! I will post before and after pictures!
Time to sign off for now.. but I just want to say this
I love you all. You are my support system and I am ever so grateful to everyone.