The title says it all. It’s been one rough week emotionally for me. For some strange reason, I have really just been super emotional. Though I do have at least one idea why, but that is not necessarily the majority of why I have been so upset.
Mom came into town last week to help me change my third bedroom into my tv lounge/knitting room. I am so appreciative of her that she was able to come in and help me out. We spent all day Friday painting the room a really beautiful shade of green. Glidden’s “Frosted Pine” to be exact. Once we finished painting, we cleaned up and joined my friend and her husband for dinner and a movie. We enjoyed and laughed so hard at the movie we saw which was “The Tooth Fairy”. Great Movie… funny!!
Saturday we spent doing touch ups and moving furniture into the room. I got this really awesome oversized chair from Craigslist and it really does fit my needs. Huge and a HUGE ottoman to go with it! We moved the TV in, rearranged the book shelf and hung pictures.
But I think where my sadness and missing Corey came into play was when we moved the bookcase back into the room. That bookcase held all of Corey’s ducks that he had. He loved those ducks. And it was downhill from there. Just putting them back up on the shelves just hurt. And later, we got into the closet that houses all the old games he collected. We needed to stack them back into a better organization than what it was. Again, that was one of his passions and it just knocked me over yet again.
We headed out to my brother and sister in laws house to watch my nephews and niece for the evening so that they could have a date night. Being with the kids always makes me smile. They are full of life and laughter and it was good to spend the time with them. Though there were times, while they were playing games, that I would think about the last time Corey was there and it just made me sad. He loved those kids and enjoyed being around them and playing games with them.
Sunday brought a cleaning blitz and organization before Mom headed home. It was tiring, but it was good to do all that we did. Once mom headed home, and I got some grocery shopping out-of-the-way, I had time to sit down. Yet again, the sadness enveloped me and I had a really good cry. That good cry, after a good nap, moved into the night-time and thus caused me to have a horrible headache when I woke up on Monday. It was enough to keep me at home. I knew with that headache and the intense sadness, I knew that I would not be a good functional employee. It did me good to be home and I had the time to really rest.
The sadness is just sticking with me. Why? I can only think that it’s beginning to really hit me now that the pressing legal issues have been decided upon and I can now do what needs to be done. Maybe it’s the finality of it all. I don’t know. All I know is that I miss him to the point that it hurts sometimes. I know that by keeping busy it would keep me from having such sadness. Thus my week has been packed…..
Handbell choir practice on Monday, Grief Support group on Tuesday, Knitting with the ladies on Wednesday, Sushi dinner with my Ya’Ya’s tonight. Tomorrow is drinks with Corey’s Van Buddies, Saturday morning will be ACT Test proctoring, and my first Widow and Widowers dinner on Saturday evening. Sunday brings knitting some of my YaYa’s and then to my Brothers for some budgeting and planning. And Sunday night brings Church.
I know that God will lead me to get through all of this and that each day will get easier day by day. I can only take it one day at a time.